Changing Limiting Beliefs

What are limiting beliefs? Limiting beliefs are beliefs that do very little for you. They can:

• Cause you to feel unhappy
• Prevent you from achieving what you want
• Destroy your confidence and motivation
• Prevent you from taking action
• Undermine your self respect and in turn the respect of others
• Are not supported by truly objective evidence.

What is a limiting belief in one situation may be useful in another, for example if you can’t swim and you want to learn, telling yourself that you can’t swim and will never be able to learn would not be useful. If believing that you can’t swim prevents you from diving into a raging torrent to save someone when you haven’t learnt to swim then that would be useful to you. When limiting beliefs are not helpful is when you want to make changes, or to feel better about yourself. You can transform your life by working with values and beliefs. Here are some fairly simple ways to get rid of limiting beliefs:

1. If a belief you have about yourself or about what you can achieve or learn makes you feel bad, then choose another belief. You do have a choice about what you believe. It can be a tremendously liberating experience to discover that you don’t have to believe your own negative internal dialogue. ‘I’m not attractive to potential partners, what nonsense, everybody has attractive features.’ Believe it, it’s true.
2. Look for evidence to undermine your negative belief. Tony Robbins has a useful analogy where he likens a belief to a table. If you chop the legs away, the table folds. Limiting beliefs are like that. ‘I’ll never be able to learn to…..swim.’ Do you know anyone who has been unable to learn to swim if they put their mind to it? No? Away goes one leg of the table. Is swimming a skill that is so impossibly difficult that people find it difficult to do? No? Another leg down. Am I afraid of water? No? Three legs down and a table can’t survive on one leg alone. What might be stopping you from learning to swim? In an example like this probably your limiting belief alone. You can be the person you have always wanted to be if you have positive self belief.
3. Look for evidence to support your new useful belief. Have I learnt new skills in the past? Yes, well I could also learn to swim. Would I enjoy learning to swim, Yes? Go for it! Could I find an instructor who would make the process enjoyable? Yes. Do I feel good about myself now that I am trying to achieve something that does not on the surface of it seem easy to me? Yes. Overcoming limiting beliefs can be really enjoyable, and exponentially increase self-esteem.
4. If you can’t find evidence to support a life enhancing belief, or to negate an unhelpful one, then write out a new positive belief. Repeat it to yourself at least three times a day. Always frame it in the present and make it positive. e.g. ‘I am an attractive and desirable person.’ Do this even if at first you don’t have a great deal of belief in the statement or the process. Doing this will influence the unconscious mind. You will find that despite yourself you will come to affirm the new belief over time. In any case, giving yourself positive messages is always more enjoyable than telling yourself that you are a jerk, and positive inner dialogue will bring good results.
5. Decide what would be supporting evidence for a more positive belief for you. Start creating the evidence for yourself in the future. Find some small step that you can take in the right direction. If you want to be attractive to others start smiling at people, when they smile back that might be evidence that you can use to create a positive self image. If you think you can’t get fit take a little more exercise every day. Build up enough positive evidence to create a new belief and in doing it a new more positive behaviour pattern. Take action. Make a start in creating your own life enhancing internal world.
6. Learn skills that will support a new belief. If you lack confidence in yourself, consider learning interactive social skills, or going on a course related to self-esteem. There are plenty of these types of trainings offered in the personal development world. You will also meet new people. Check out the Internet. Take action even if you don’t feel like it. Successfully stepping outside your comfort zone will create the self-confidence that you need to build a great self-image.

Limiting beliefs can be destructive when we are not aware that they are just that. When we become aware that our beliefs about ourselves and about what we can achieve have a massive effect on our lives, we can begin to address them and to work on them to create success and happiness. If you want to have a list of beliefs that will help you to live a more fulfilled life, then check out may article, Ten Powerful Beliefs, If you want one to one help in making changes in your belief system or in creating self confidence and happiness, contact me on 0131 556 5685.